Vanishing

G just called. I didnt sound pleased when I answered. He asked what I was up to, I said Im on the internet. He asked what Id be up to later, I said Id be going to the hostel. He asked if I wanted to see him or something, I said I didnt really know what I was doing, that Im going up to the hostel. He said, ok, he'd speak to me later and hung up.

I feel even more bummed now. He's probably pissed off. Im gonna drink another glass of red wine and buy some cigarettes.

Listening to A Perfect Circle - Vanishing.

I want him to stop needing me to be a girlfriend and just love me as a person whos not feeling so great right now. I want to know if Im imagining him and not seeing who he really is.

My perspective is warped by my twisted history.